I pondered whether to update this blog or remove it, as so many things have changed since my last entry.
My memories have returned, not just as the result of medical care, but due to reconnecting with people from my past who were able to confirm details for me.
There is no easy way to say that I now remember the full extent of my mother’s betrayal. It put me in crisis for a while, I even ended up in the hospital briefly. I will not burden my followers with the details. It is simple, straightforward, and painful to say.
I was talking to an online counselor…and a memory snapped into focus.
This was Glenda, the Active Narcissist mother. You know how messed up Glenda was?
Sometime after getting raped by a teacher…and his friend, who taught the older kids. Well, you can imagine how confused I was.
I started reading Memoirs of a Geisha. Great book, by the way.
Glenda saw me reading it, and told me not to. She said, “Don’t read that. It’ll bring things up that…don’t need to be brought up right now.”
Yes. That actually happened.
Glenda knew everyone was fucking me, she just didn’t want me to read about it!
I read it anyway. It made me feel less alone.